Love takes work
There is a natural phenomenon that occurs when we first fall in love. We are happy, vibrant, and confident. Nobody needs to be told how to be happy when falling in love. This kind of happiness just comes naturally when we are discovering another person in life. It is one of the blessings of finding that unique human chemistry within somebody else. Falling in love gives you a freeing sense of being “okâ€, just the way you are.
Falling in love is the easy part, it happens naturally. On the other hand, staying in love is a lot more difficult. There are many people that might argue that the best we can hope for over the long haul is a quiet kind of loving that is full of care and tenderness, but without harsh negativity and arguing, that at worst may end in disenchantment. Even couples who are very happy today with their relationships often feel anxiety over the future. Just the divorce statistics alone is enough to make us feel like love may go sour.
Part of the problem is that what worked for our parents, or rather what they thought worked for them, will not necessary work for us today. When you search around for couples who seem to be growing in a positive direction with their relationship, those that you want to emulate, there aren’t very many of these models available. So what should we do, should be just be happy for what we can get on the go, even if we lose it, or is it possible to find love and stay in love?
Personally I believe in relationships that last over time. Yes, it is extremely hard at to remain intimate with anther man or women for years on end, while keeping up the passion, and without having the desire for that initial newly discovered joy of excitement. Being a romantic person myself, I believe it can work, but on the other hand, it takes lots of work to keep a relationship going with the same vibrancy.
Do not confuse the word “work†with anything negative. It just means that to keep the magic going for the long haul, certain choices have to be made to stay close and have fun. Most couples engage in various forms of spontaneous play. I’m not referring to activities like tennis, bowling, or board games, rather, I’m talking about joking with each other, discussing fantasies, role playing, mock fighting, and private pet names to for you and your partner to call each other.